{"id":7667,"date":"2026-02-28T04:34:02","date_gmt":"2026-02-28T00:34:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wandasmaxey.com\/?p=7667"},"modified":"2026-02-28T04:34:09","modified_gmt":"2026-02-28T00:34:09","slug":"love-and-abuse-on-40-acres","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wandasmaxey.com\/?p=7667","title":{"rendered":"Love and Abuse on 40 Acres"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Love and Abuse on 40 Acres<\/span><\/h1>

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A true story of hope as the secluded dream retreat with one husband became a widow’s isolated place of terror with the next.<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>

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Read now Chapter One for<\/span> Free<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/h2>

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“Let my Mom go, or I’ll put a bullet right between your eyes,” and with those words, my abuser let me loose.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>
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C<\/span>hapter 1:<\/span><\/h2>

Let My Mom Go<\/span><\/h2>
Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them.<\/em><\/span><\/h5>
-Proverbs 24:1<\/em><\/span><\/h5>

\u00a0<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Living almost two years as a lonely widow drove me to a point of desperation so deep that I began searching the Internet to recapture true love. The search ended when I met Lanny.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Now, I enjoy lying in bed, after a good night\u2019s sleep, wrapped in the arms of my new husband. Our low blood sugars tell us we need some food.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lanny climbs out of bed and makes his way to the living room after a quick pit-stop. He opens all the blinds so that we can enjoy the beauty of our surrounding 40-acre forest. He makes the coffee and sets the table while I take a shower. Dressed and ready for the day, I head to the kitchen and make breakfast\u2014fluffy pancakes and crisp bacon, washed down with oceans of hot, fresh-ground coffee. Between bites, I’m relaxed and happy as I snap a few digital pictures of a red-headed woodpecker.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cHey, Wanda, that’s a gorgeous shot.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cThanks, that will add to my collection of bird pictures on the mantle.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Together we watch red cardinals perch on the snow-covered pine trees. The birds have almost devoured another cake of suet.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day turns into evening and supper time rolls around. I cook a special meal for him\u2014well-done pork steak, loaded baked potatoes, green beans, and bread smothered with lots of butter. I’m enjoying all the compliments on my cooking.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Tonight we will celebrate our first New Year’s Eve together. Plenty of snacks are sitting on the table for us to nibble while we play board games, which I usually don’t enjoy. I’d rather just sit and talk. But he even makes boring board games interesting. I think I know the Bible pretty well, until I play Bible Trivia with Lanny. He always wins, but never makes me feel like a loser. He assures me, \u201cYou did really well.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Reminiscing is something we both love to do, so I pull out one of the binders containing our old instant messages. We sit at the kitchen table and start reading. Then Lanny says something that disrupts the good mood we had settled into.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cLooking at this hurts, because some of it is lies.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I don’t want to get him riled up by digging into the meaning of that comment, so I’m keeping my mouth shut. I’ll learn to submit to my husband,<\/b> if it kills me. I’ll let him have control. I’ll heed his stinging words from earlier conversations: \u201cEverything would be fine between us, if only you would stop arguing and do what I tell you.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lanny, who lost his wife two months after the death of my beloved Buddy, was supposed to have been my answered prayer for a new love. But shortly after Lanny bolted the door of our honeymoon motel six months ago, I found out that the man in my bed was nothing like the man I had promised to love till death do us part. Our days now hang in the balance between my dream of wedded bliss and a nightmare of wedded abuse. Today was leaning toward my dream until Lanny’s stinging remark about the instant messages.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Midnight is fast approaching. We move to the comfort of the couch, turn on the television to watch the giant ball drop in Times Square. I feel hopeful in Lanny’s arms. He pulls me tight against his chest. The countdown starts\u201410, 9, 8. I love to celebrate a New Year\u20147, 6, 5. My heart is beating faster\u20144, 3, 2, 1\u2014bells, whistles, singing, confetti.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0With Auld Lang Syne playing in the background, our kiss is full of hope for the future.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0A brand new year, a new beginning.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Anything is possible.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 We agree to rededicate our lives to the Lord and start our marriage anew.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Once in bed, we share a special night together. But I still feel fragile. I lie awake in Lanny’s arms, trying to drift off to sleep. I can’t seem to turn my mind off. This marriage is wearing me down. It’s too hard living on the edge. I’m tired of walking on eggshells. I can’t even relax on the good days. Any little thing can upset him. And I live in fear that he’ll blow again. Our fights are not pleasing to the Lord and I’m only getting farther away from Him. I am running out of strength to go on. I hope Lanny keeps his promise and that this marriage will succeed.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0On New Year’s Day, I pray and rededicate my life to the Lord before I even get out of bed.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lord, I am yours, and I give You control of my life, to do whatever you will. I just ask for wisdom to know what to do, or strength for a fresh start with Lanny.<\/i><\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I turn over and snuggle in Lanny’s waiting arms. We talk and cuddle until hunger forces us to get up. Buttered raisin toast goes great with our bacon and eggs and hot coffee. Everything is tranquil as we eat breakfast. Gazing out the picture window, I can see newly fallen snow illuminating the animal tracks laid down the night before. A beautiful stray deer joins our usual bird friends. Timid, like me, he wanders on the edge of the woods by the pond.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Do I dare hope this pleasant day will continue? \u201cHey, honey, we talked about rededicating our lives to the Lord. I did it this morning, did you?\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0His emphatic \u201cNo\u201d makes me jump. \u201cAnd I’m not going to, until the Holy Spirit tells me to.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Tension locks the air around us.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Not today, dear Lord, please not today. Not after our special day yesterda<\/i>y. I shouldn’t have said anything. Me and my big mouth.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Sitting around watching the snow flutter down and drinking hot chocolate is usually so relaxing. But today I can feel the chill in the air, both inside and out.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0We spend the day in an uneasy truce.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Dinner time rolls around. I fix one of Lanny’s favorites, taco salad. Hopefully this will put him in a better mood. The television blares out the shouts of the fans at the football game Lanny is watching.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Before eating, we hold hands and Lanny prays. Maybe the rest of today will be the fresh start we both need. After eating, we settle on the couch where Lanny scrunches into the furthest corner, engrossed in the football game.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Feeling shut out, I mindlessly turn the pages of a book, and think of what the marriage counselor told us:<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cPretend you’re connected to an air hose supplying your oxygen.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0We’re supposed to give one another a clue when we feel our emotional air supply is being cut off.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cHey, Lanny, you’re stepping on my air hose. At least connect with me so I can feel your touch.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0His foot shoots out. I wince as the kick connects with my thigh.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I try again, hoping the clue will work this time.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u201cYou’re stepping on my air hose, Lanny, and I’m not feeling very loved.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cWell I’m not glued to your stupid side.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0His words hit me like painful daggers. Fear sends me to the love seat. His mouth kicks in with the usual disgust: \u201cI thought I loved you, but I don’t. I hate you. This isn’t going to work, Wanda. My late wife was the best woman in the world and you couldn’t hold a candle to her. She had more faith in her little finger than you ever did. I hope you burn in hell. I wish I’d never clicked on your Internet picture. I wish I’d never talked to you. I’m sorry I ever met you. I wish we’d never gotten married, and I’d like all the money back I spent on gas coming to see you.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0My heart sinks to my toes. My chest hurts like someone just sucker punched me. His blasphemy stings me even harder when he takes the Lord’s name in vain. Venom spews from his mouth. I am every vile name he can conjure up. My pain intensifies when he screams at my late husband, who died of cancer:<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAnd as for your precious Buddy, he was a short, fat, ugly, hideous good-for-nothing.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cWell at least Buddy never said one bad word about me, ever!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cWhat a liar, you lousy no-good witch.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Anger takes away my fear and I cannot shut up. \u201cWhat about your word of honor to rededicate yourself to the Lord and work on our marriage? You can’t even live up to your promise for one day?\u201d Then I swear at him.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cYou, you, just rededicated your life to the Lord? Huh, it doesn’t sound like it. Why don’t you just go join your dead husband?\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cAnd you say you don’t know what verbal abuse is? Well, this is verbal abuse!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cOh, I don’t think so. It’s only words.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cWell, let’s see. I’ll call Lynn and ask her about it.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I grab the cordless phone, run into the office, lock the door, and call my daughter. She knows a little of what’s been going on. She’ll help. I know Lanny is listening at the door.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Tears choke me as I tell Lynn what’s happening. She is fearful that I’m getting accustomed to Lanny’s abuse.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cMom, you have to get out of there!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI’ll be alright,\u201d I say, trying to convince her I’m not afraid.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Footsteps outside the door alert me that Lanny is up to something. I unlock the door and peek out. My heart skips a beat. Buddy’s hunting knife is in Lanny’s hand. I had laid the knife out, planning to give it to my son, Trevor, in memory of his Dad.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lanny’s eyes glint with malice.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I stand my ground. \u201cWhat are you doing with that knife?\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lynn’s voice cuts through my fear: \u201cThat’s enough Mom, keep your phone with you and go pack a bag. I’m calling Trevor.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lynn\u2019s voice fades away from me but I catch what she shouts to her husband. \u201cQuick, give me your cell phone.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 I can hear her calling Trevor, who lives about 20 minutes away.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cMom doesn’t want you to know this but Lanny has been abusing her. He’s gone crazy or something. Get right over there and get her!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lord, this mess is out of my hands now.<\/i><\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I turn and run to get the bag full of clothes and other necessities that I keep packed and ready, hidden in the back of the closet in anticipation of a quick escape someday. I grab it, along with my purse, and make my way back down the hall.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lanny jerks the purse out of my hands. The bag falls to the floor along with my car keys. I topple backward. His screams fill every space of the room: \u201cSomething\u2019s wrong with you. You’re not acting right and you’re not going anywhere!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0He holds my keys hostage so I can’t leave. \u201cNow hang up the freaking phone!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lynn hears him and shouts, \u201cNo, don’t do it!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0She keeps me on the phone while Lanny keeps blocking the door.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cYou’re not going to leave me,\u201d he says, \u201cI will not let you abandon me!\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0My heart is beating wildly to the point of bursting out of my chest. Lanny stares as if he doesn’t know me. Fear says I have to get away. But my love for him says to stay. I’m so confused. I don’t know if I can survive another round with Lanny.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cHang on, Mom. Trevor’s on his way.\u201d Lanny and I face off in a staring contest. Suddenly headlights brighten the window behind Lanny. Brakes screech to a halt and split the silence that has fallen between us. I grab my purse, my overnight bag, and reach for the door. In the same moment, Lanny steps toward me and wraps his arms around me. But this is no romantic gesture. I feel the air leaving my lungs and a crushing pain in my ribs as his grip tightens. He’s hurting me and won’t let go.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Trevor walks up to the door, sees me in Lanny’s grip, and shouts at him.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cYou let my Mom go, or I’ll put a bullet right between your eyes.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lanny let go.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I look at Lanny’s devastated face. My heart is breaking, but I have to do this. In between sobs I tell him, \u201cYou get some help, then I’ll be back.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Trevor looks at Lanny. \u201cIf you didn’t do anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about. But for now, I’m taking my Mom with me.\u201d<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Trevor puts his arms gently around me, and leads me slowly out to his van. My sobs echo in the still night and I’m glad we don’t have any close neighbors. My legs tremble. I rely on the strong arms of my son to reach the van. Trevor opens the door and helps me in. He goes around to the driver\u2019s side and gets in. He’s not speaking, just sitting quietly, and letting me cry. He doesn’t judge me.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Looking for movement, my eyes scan back to the house and the picture window. But Lanny never attempts to come out.\u00a0<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0My life feels as if it has hit rock bottom.<\/p>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0How did I come to this?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A true story of hope as the secluded dream retreat with one husband became a widow’s isolated place of terror with the next.<\/p>\n

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