{"id":5421,"date":"2024-01-13T20:43:30","date_gmt":"2024-01-13T20:43:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wandasmaxey.com\/?p=5421"},"modified":"2026-02-16T02:32:04","modified_gmt":"2026-02-15T22:32:04","slug":"lonely-heart-meets-empty-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wandasmaxey.com\/?p=5421","title":{"rendered":"My Lonely Heart Will Never Heal"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\"sleeping,My Lonely Heart Will Never Heal.<\/strong>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 June 2005<\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0My husband, Buddy, called the doctor to get the results of his biopsy.<\/strong> His voice trembled when he talked. \u201cI\u2019m calling,\u201d he said, \u201cto get the results from my autopsy.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\u201cNo,\u201d I whispered, \u201cyour biopsy.\u201d God knew we needed a laugh.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0We had been building our own home, together, for many years.<\/strong> He had retired and we kept working,<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

looking forward to the day we could also retire our tools. Plans were made to get away, travel, and enjoy life. Then, with no warning, BOOM! Pancreatic Cancer invaded our lives and it was no laughing matter.<\/p>\n

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One day, while alone, I felt God speak to me, not out loud, but in my spirit. \u201cI\u2019m going to take him,\u201d I thought He said, \u201cand you\u2019re going to be OK.\u201d Sobs ripped through my soul. I don\u2019t<\/em> want to be OK. I want my husband.<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0But God had other plans.<\/strong> Thus began a life of days filled with tests, trials, and waiting.<\/p>\n

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Buddy had always been a quiet, loving, and patient man with a great sense of humor. His diagnosis changed him into a man with eyes that were cold, hard, and glaring. He tried to pick fights and snapped at me. But, I understood. Underneath it all, he was SO afraid.<\/p>\n

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Years earlier, when we had only been married for a few months, I felt like something was missing. Buddy asked me, \u201cWhat\u2019s missing?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u201cI don\u2019t know what it is, but something missing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 After the trial that forced us to our knees, we discovered what was missing.<\/strong> The Lord. We admitted that we were sinners, prayed, told God that we were sorry, and asked for forgiveness. We invited Him to take control of our lives.<\/p>\n

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The Lord changed us that day, for all eternity. Neither one of us ever regretted our decision. We attended church together, up close to the end. Buddy was no longer able to go inside because of medical issues. But, he insisted on driving me there and he waited in the car. He was free to drive to the nearest gas station with a change of clothes. When the service was over I\u2019d find him waiting in the car, maybe asleep. I\u2019d wake him gently, then we\u2019d talk about the sermon all the way home.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0And then, eighteen L O N G\u2026months after the devastating news, the doctor recommended Hospice. <\/strong>Buddy was terrified. He couldn\u2019t face the \"doctor,end.<\/p>\n

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Although he knew he had cancer, he couldn\u2019t accept the fact that he was going to die. \u201cIf I get worse,\u201d <\/em>he said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to know. Promise you won\u2019t tell me? I don\u2019t want Hospice taking care of me either. I don\u2019t want the Death Watchers anywhere by me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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I found myself digging for tissues just watching him sink deeper into himself every day. He didn\u2019t even want to watch television.<\/p>\n

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Please God, <\/em>I prayed, help him so he\u2019s not afraid to die.<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I had to trick him into letting Hospice come.<\/strong> \u201cI won\u2019t get Hospice,” <\/em>I said, “but I will need someone to help out. How about if I call in a registered nurse?” <\/em>He agreed. I think he knew what I was up to, but by pretending that he didn\u2019t he could accept the situation. The kind and loving Hospice nurses were a Godsend.<\/p>\n

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One morning Buddy woke up with a new gleam in his eyes, unlike anything I had witnessed for several months. He took me completely by surprise when he said, \u201cI\u2019m going to heaven!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I was speechless. For a quick second, my breath was suspended.<\/strong> \u201cOh, you think you are?\u201d <\/em>I stammered.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI KNOW I am,\u201d <\/em>he said with a strong, secure voice. \u201cAn angel came into my room last night. He stood at the foot of my bed and held his arms out. He was a very large male angel. He wore a long white robe. I felt such POWER in the room, like nothing I\u2019d ever felt. I looked at him and said, \u2018I\u2019m not ready yet.\u2019 The angel smiled a beautiful white-toothed smile, then turned and walked away. I\u2019ll be going to heaven in two weeks.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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Buddy seemed calm and content. Something wonderful had happened to him. His whole countenance had changed. His face seemed to glow.<\/p>\n

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\u201cAre you afraid?\u201d <\/em>I asked.<\/p>\n

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\u201cNo,\u201d <\/em>he said.<\/p>\n

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With tears and a joyful heart, I whispered, Thank you, God.<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Buddy slept in a small bed from Hospice.<\/strong> \u201cHey, Precious,\u201d <\/em>he said, \u201cWill you lay down with me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u201cYou don\u2019t have much room in that bed, and I don\u2019t want to hurt you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u201cYou\u2019re not going to hurt me, Angel Face, and I need you. Come over here, please?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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So I climbed into the small bed and snuggled up beside him. He wrapped his weak little arms tenderly around me. Oh, that familiar after-shave. I had desperately missed lying in his arms, it had been SO long. I was afraid of hurting him, but nothing had ever felt so comfortable and good. He agreed. His worried expression was gone. His face looked peaceful as he talked, and he was full of questions about heaven.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWhat if I can\u2019t find my way around there? What if I get lost?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry about that. “<\/strong>The instant you get there, everything will feel like home. You\u2019ll get to see Jesus face to face. Your mother and my mother will be there. They\u2019ll probably get together and make one of the<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0famous meals that you always loved. Your dad will be there, and you\u2019ll get to see him for the very first time since he died when you were only five months old. Your sisters and brothers, and my brother, Rodney, will be there waiting to welcome you home and show you around. Jesus has prepared mansions for over 2000 years, and yours is finished. You won\u2019t have to worry about drywall, or anything else about building, ever again.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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I kissed him on the cheek and felt his tears mingle with my own. Neither one of us had to move. We didn\u2019t have to change positions. The telephone never rang, and neither one of us needed a bathroom break. We talked about nothing except heaven, for the entire time. That was truly God\u2019s special blessing to both of us.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI\u2019ll be waiting for you, Precious, and I\u2019ll carry you over the threshold of the heavenly portals.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0When I finally climbed out of his little bed, three-and-a-half hours later, I felt like I could almost float.<\/strong> There was such a tremendous relief from the pain that had surrounded my heart. I could hardly wait to tell the kids everything their dad had said.<\/p>\n

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After telling our son, Trevor, about his dad\u2019s visit from an angel, I asked him. \u201cWhat do you think about that? Do you think he\u2019s just been on too much medication or something? Or do you think he really had a visit\u00a0from an angel?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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“Well, <\/em>he said, “Dad was never a person to make things up, so yes, I believe him. I think it happened, just like he said.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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How could I ever doubt that God had answered my prayer? The Bible does promise that God will send guardian angels to protect us during life, and then He will send an angel to carry us home.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0When I told the nurse what had happened she said, \u201cHe will never last for two more weeks.<\/em><\/strong> I don\u2019t know how he even lasted this long.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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Buddy\u2019s humor returned and he seemed almost like his old self. The Hospice staff went out of their way to give Buddy anything he wanted.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\u201cIs there anything you\u2019ve always wanted to do, but haven\u2019t been able to? Is there anything you\u2019d like to see or do, or have?\u201d\u00a0 <\/em>They asked him.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWell,\u201d we did order some carpet for the living room,\u201d he said, \u201cthat we were going to have delivered so we could do it ourselves. I\u2019d like to see that installed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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Hospice sent men to pick up the carpet then men came for<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

the installation.<\/p>\n

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With the carpet finished, Buddy told them he\u2019d like to see the trim in the living room completed. Two men came and finished all the trim. Then he told them he\u2019d love to see the drywall up in the master bedroom.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWe\u2019ll see what we can do,\u201d they told him.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Buddy called me into the bedroom and then whispered in my ear. <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m trying to get the house finished for you, Angel Face.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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Our son came over to admire all the improvements. His dad pointed them out from his bed we had moved to the living room. \u201cHey, nice huh?\u201d <\/em>His dad proudly exclaimed. \u201cIs there anything that you need to have done at your house? Do you want to borrow me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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The Hospice lady asked Buddy if he\u2019d like someone to come over and give him a massage.<\/p>\n

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\u201cOnly if my wife can get them too,\u201d <\/em>he said. They agreed, but I didn\u2019t want to bother them. They stopped by every couple of days and gave Buddy a massage, gently, on his frail little body. He\u2019d tell them, \u201cWell, that was a good rub.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Soon thereafter, the nurse called me aside, <\/strong><\/em>\u201cI hate to have to tell you this, but Buddy is in a coma. You\u2019d better call in all the family to say goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Heartbroken, I called our pastor and told him. \u201cI\u2019m on my way,\u201d <\/em>he said.<\/p>\n

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Before the pastor arrived, Buddy came back to us, opened his eyes, and was talking. Our pastor arrived and before we could say anything, he went in to see Buddy. He came out looking wide-eyed.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI don\u2019t know what they told you,\u201d <\/em>he said, \u201cbut THAT\u201d S, not a coma.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0This happened several times and Buddy amazed all of us.<\/strong> The Hospice nurse kept saying, \u201cThis just doesn\u2019t happen. They don\u2019t do that. He keeps going and going. I\u2019ve never known anyone like that with a pulse so low who was still alive. We\u2019re going to call him the energizer Buddy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0He woke up one morning with a surprised look, \u201cI\u2019m still here?\u201d <\/em>He said.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Whenever we asked him what he needed, he always pointed up, and said, \u201cHeaven.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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Suddenly, I was hit with the full force of reality. I was going to lose my husband. \u201cOh God,\u201d <\/em>I cried, \u201cI can\u2019t do this, I just can\u2019t.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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God seemed to say, \u201cI\u2019ll help you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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My overwhelming sadness faded. I was back at Buddy\u2019s bedside. He was weak but still hanging on as he hovered between this world and the next.<\/p>\n

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He had been in and out of consciousness but he suddenly spoke two words, very clear, \u201cDad! Dad!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. \u201cI love you,\u201d <\/em>I said. I could feel his lips as he tried, with what little strength he had, to kiss me back. He could only mouth the words, \u201cI love you too.\u201d <\/em>Then immediately he was gone. Exactly two weeks after his visit from the angel.<\/p>\n

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If we could have gotten a peek into the unseen world I\u2019m sure we would have seen the angel standing at the foot of the bed again, with his arms stretched out. Only this time Buddy would have said, \u201cI\u2019m ready now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Although pain and sadness filled my heart, God gave me the peace<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

that passes all understanding.<\/strong> He sent many people into my life who helped with my grief. One day, in church, I was crying. Something told me to look up. When I did I caught a quick glimpse of Buddy and I heard him say.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t cry, Angel Face.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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Another night Buddy came to me in a dream. Not in the body that cancer stole from him. Not the body with the speech impediment that he had dealt with since birth. His voice was crystal clear and sounded awesome. He looked young, handsome, and healthy again.<\/p>\n

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God\u2019s word is true. He is near to the brokenhearted. He used many people and situations to comfort me. Day by day my heartache was eased.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I found joy again after My Lonely Heart Started to Heal<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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My Lonely Heart Will Never Heal.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 June 2005 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0My husband, Buddy, called the doctor to get the results of his biopsy. His voice trembled when he talked. \u201cI\u2019m calling,\u201d he said, […]<\/p>\n

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