“Wow, you‘re beautiful,” he typed.
He had asked me to put another one of my pictures on the dating site.
I uploaded a shot taken of myself while standing in front of a two way mirror. I no sooner finished the picture when I heard—Beep, beep. “Will you accept an instant message from Lanny?” Of course I said yes.
The compliments flowed through his message.
“You’re holding a camera on the right side and I can’t tell what’s on the other side, but I see two of you—all the more to love. You’re wearing a blue blouse and a gray jacket. How pretty.”
He wore me down with his persistence about wanting my email. I sent him my address through an instant message. He flooded my inbox with forwards, Christian emails, like he promised. In addition, if I mentioned a song I liked, he sent it through the Internet. We exchanged so many cards and instant messages back and forth—I spent a fortune on ink and paper printing each one.
“You’re a real gentleman,” I typed, “at least I hope so.”
“You’re pretty cautious, but I’m not a bad guy, I’m on your side. You’re so kind, considerate, sweet, and extra good natured. Do you like to hold hands, hug and be close to the one you love? I’m a hands on person.”
“I sure do. After my husband died I was desperate for the human touch. God sent hugs from all different people at the exact time He knew I needed one.”
“How wonderful. God always gives us exactly what we need. Oh, sweet gal, you’re so special, extremely smart, and easy on the eyes. I don’t figure you’ll even need make-up because you’re so naturally beautiful. I’d sure like to meet you in person. I’m not trying to rush you, you’re too special of a woman. Now I’m wondering, how soon will I be hearing your lovely voice?”
I longed to hear him sing, but I assumed it was too soon to give him my number. “I have an idea,” I typed, “make a recording for me and drop the tape off in the phone booth over on 3rd street at 10:00. I’ll come behind you and pick it up.”
“That’s good, Wanda,” he said, “you’re certainly humorous. You make me laugh a lot. I’ll go to choir practice and sing, “The Master Has Come, especially for you.”
With his next choir practice he sang “Some enchanted evening,” and said he’d be thinking of me with every word.”
On the sixth day, I opened a card with red hearts, yellow butterflies, and the words, God Loves You! And so do I.
Lanny loves me? Could that be possible, already?
“Cupid called,” read the next card. “He said to tell you he needs my heart back.”
“I talked to cupid,” I wrote, “he doesn’t give out hearts on the first site. Before I give my heart out, I need to tell you what I expect out of a relationship. Above all else, I want honesty. So what qualities do you look for in a woman?”
“Mostly, I want someone who will be my best friend on earth, number two behind Jesus.”
A man who wanted to put Jesus first? Wow, I thought, a man who tries to live by the Bible? I couldn’t ask for more.
Things got better as time passed. I couldn’t wait to tell my daughter, Lynn. The next morning, over coffee and blueberry scones, I filled her in on the latest about Lanny. She didn’t seem too impressed. “Sounds like he’s just a charmer,” she said, “and charm wouldn’t work on me.”
If only I had listened to her wise advice.
Lanny Love Bombed me for his own gain: meant to manipulate and control. He showered me with attention and praise in the early stages of our relationship.
Not aware that he had me hooked I married him, thinking he was the answer to my prayers. On our wedding night I was shocked when his words of love turned to words of abuse. And the horror had only begun. Love Bombing for personal gain is used by selfish people, for their own profit, and they don’t care who they hurt.
Excerpt from the book: Love and Abuse on 40 Acres. CLICK HERE.
But, Love Bombing can be used in another way, according to Clinical Psychologist Oliver James, described in his book, Love Bombing – Reset your child’s emotional thermostat, which offers a means for parents to rectify emotional problems in their children.
“Giving your child a very intense, condensed experience of feeling completely loved and in control for 24-48 hours (and then rekindling that experience daily for half an hour) can result in dramatic shifts in the child’s personality and their behavior.” – Oliver James
James suggests that for a time your child is in charge of all the details, from where you stay and what you eat, to how you spend your time and when you go to bed. Your child may choose to eat junk food, play games, go to the park, watch a movie. Forget their usual routine, or bedtime. Give them your full undivided attention for a while, and that means NO cell phone.
James says that feeling loved is far more important for childhood discipline than rule-making and punishment.
Even if no behavioral problems exist, Love Bombing can be a wonderful way to reconnect with your kids. What‘s your opinion? Would you ‘Love Bomb’ your children?